I thought that April 25 and 26 of this year were the strangest of the strange for news. On an April 25 evening newscast of CBS WISH-TV 4 from Indianapolis, they said that the Golden State Serial Rapist/Murder has been identified and captured. He committed rapes, obscene and threatening phone calls, about 100 burglaries, about
45 12 murders. I’m glad that he’s off the street.
Then they announced that after the commercial break that they’d talk about the other miracle blue pill. No, it’s not like V*I*A*G*R*A*. The pill is for CDIFF. I thought, “What, now!?” If you take the wrong dosage of the wrong antibiotic, then in your intestines you’ve killed too many of the good bacteria, and you’d have digestive episodes. These CDIFF patients took 32 blue pills with specific frozen donated human fecal matter in one day. The bacteria go down to your gut and then the next day you can go to the toilet like a normal woman. Talk to your doctor or you might be at risk for E Coli bacteria or other infections. I thought, “What would Freud say about that?” I know what Freud would say about that. He’d say, “I’m not touching that one.”
On the April 26 news, Bill Cosby was found guilty of 3 counts of sexual assault and then had an obscene tirade.
Also on the April 26 news, a man from Indiana was arrested for murder threats. He called himself mechanical (!?!?) and threatened to murder and cannibalize other people’s children. They show his picture and he doesn’t need to threaten you to scare you away.
This doesn’t have anything to do with the news, but it does have something to do with April 26. On April 26, I started writing a Dr. Seuss-style poem about if Seuss was captured by the Jigsaw Killer and argued with him.
EDIT: I had forgotten to mention that on the April 26 news that newscaster Tom Brokaw was accused of sexual harassment from the 1990s.